Uh oh its that time again

"aberson Bresident of the FullyAssed Committe" (emaxxbl) 01/09/2016 at 20:09 • Filed to: None

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That time where I start to think unnecessarily.

So supposedly the national statistic for getting crushed by a vending machine is 1 in 112 million.

But lets assume that for a mintue you getting a bag of cheetos from a vending machine and they get stuck.

Now if you didn’t know about the statistic you would think“gee wilikiers if they put all these warning labels on these things I better not touch it or i’ll finally be one with the cheeto.” And then you would just go about the rest of your life as a normal person who was not vended to death.

But if you did know about the statistic you would be thinking “wow 1 in 112 million, that means I could probably rock this thing back and forth until the second coming.” Or you wouldn’t because you’re smart and you should never take anything I say or do as advice editor’s note: The dude who wrote this somehow assembled an entire pedal box for an alfa romeo spider upside down and didn’t realize until he went to put it in the car. ANYWAYS back on topic if you did somehow get vended to death you would be kinda famous, I don’t mean like celiberty famous of course but you would be that 1 in 112 million people who got crushed by a vending machine and in my book that would make you pretty famous. Because hey not everyone is that 1 in 112 million.

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I litterally have no idea where I was going with that I just thought of words and spewed them out all over kinja’s servers

Nibby > aberson Bresident of the FullyAssed Committe 01/09/2016 at 20:25

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On mobile someone post the Homer Simpson vending machine video

CB > aberson Bresident of the FullyAssed Committe 01/09/2016 at 20:32

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See, I hate statistics and numbers. For example: the odds of getting killed by a shark. Those stats are for an entire nation. You’re telling me someone in Iowa has the same odds of getting killed by a shark as someone in California? Get the fuck out of here.

aberson Bresident of the FullyAssed Committe > CB 01/09/2016 at 20:56

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I hear sharks are a very serious problem in iowa

PatBateman > aberson Bresident of the FullyAssed Committe 01/09/2016 at 21:18

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*knock knock

“Who’s there?”

“Candygram.”

XJDano > Nibby 01/09/2016 at 22:01

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That one?

Nibby > XJDano 01/10/2016 at 00:17

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yessir thanks

Svart Smart, traded in his Smart > aberson Bresident of the FullyAssed Committe 01/10/2016 at 01:13

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“And then you would just go about the rest of your life as a normal person who was not vended to death.” I like your way with words.